It's the most stressful time of the year

For many people, opening the first door on their advent calendar marks the start of a four-week marathon of stress that culminates on Christmas day. Peaceful togetherness can be replaced by social obligation, and instead of being seen as tokens of appreciation, gift-giving becomes focused on selfish expectations. This can dampen the festive spirit, and a negative mood can be catching. But it doesn't have to come to that. With a few self-imposed rules and some transparent communication, you can ensure that your Christmas feels relaxing again.

Have a discussion about gifts

Why do we even give each other gifts? This is a question that every family, couple and group of friends should discuss. Instead of spending ages coming up with the right present for a loved one, you could talk openly to them about what they would like. Set a maximum budget. Not everyone has to get gifts for everyone else either. Draw lots with names on them so that each person can concentrate on just one recipient. What's important is that you don't wait until Christmas Eve to start thinking about your presents. And the most pragmatic solution would be to agree not to give each other presents.

Conflicts on the big day

When the whole family comes together for a nice meal, feelings that have been building up for a long time can come bubbling to the surface. It’s unfortunate, especially if nerves are already raw. The evening degenerates into a heated argument. Once again, communicating openly can help defuse things. Address potential conflicts calmly in advance, and discuss expectations for the celebration. Set the framework, assign tasks and define your understanding of togetherness. And, finally, dial down your expectations or any perfectionistic tendencies. Christmas doesn't have to be the ultimate party.

Just say no

Whether you're talking about visits to the Christmas market, drinks with colleagues or meals with people in your sports club, our diaries are often jam-packed in December. Are all of these events getting to be too much for you? Then try saying no every now and then. You don't have to do everything with everyone. Choose your meetups carefully, and cancel politely if you're not up to it. Create some space for yourself, and treat yourself to occasional breaks from the Christmas hustle and bustle.

Break with tradition

When it comes to basics, you can give some thought to which traditions matter to you and those around you. Do you really need a Christmas tree? Or even a shared Christmas meal? You may want to get away from it all, and plan a short trip or holiday. You can do whatever you like, as long as everyone agrees. You could end up experiencing Christmas in a completely new way, and perhaps even emerge with more energy from what is normally a stressful time.