What do you do if you can't go on – but just can't figure out why? The main thing that pushed Peter* to his limits was the constant feeling of overwhelm at work. He looked everywhere for someone to blame, except where the problem actually lay. Then a call to santé24 changed everything.
*Name changed by the editor
It doesn’t start on a particular day. It creeps up on you. Peter, 52, works hard, shoulders responsibility and sets high standards for himself. Too high, as he now sees. “I wanted to function. I wanted to do my job. And I didn’t want people around me to realise how bad I actually felt."
«You don’t even notice that you’re doing worse.»
Peter has been losing energy for quite some time. At first it's others who notice, particularly his partner. She tells him that he's lost his zest for life. He himself doesn't notice it for a long time. Then physical symptoms start to appear: back pain, skin problems, cramps and high blood pressure. Peter’s body is sending out warning signs, but he misinterprets them.
“I was looking in the wrong places. I blamed my personal life, the house, even the grandchildren. But not the actual cause." The real problem lay with his job: high stress, pressure and perfectionism. The feeling of always having to perform.
Suddenly the body refuses to go on
It’s a Monday morning. Peter can’t get up. Not metaphorically speaking – physically. The back pain is so bad that his partner has to call an ambulance. The doctors at the hospital look for a physical cause but find nothing.
It becomes clear that the problem lies not in the body, but somewhere deeper. The body has drawn a line. “My body forced me to stop driving to work.” Peter is off work for a week. But even then he finds it hard to truly accept the cause.
Support when it all gets too much
From physical complaints to exhaustion and mental stress: santé24, SWICA’s online practice, supports customers with health issues and offers medical and psychological advice and treatment. Your medical information goes no further than santé24.
Medical professionals and doctors provide support online or by phone. If necessary, additional support can also be arranged – for example through a care management team. Both are part of your basic insurance.
The fear of no longer being good enough
Over time, the strain increases. The intervals between times when Peter is no longer able to function at work are getting shorter. Then there are the fears: “You develop a fear of the future and lose perspective.” Those around him notice that he's not well. They try to talk to him about it, but he shuts them out.
One Saturday, Peter is doing particularly badly. His partner says enough is enough. Something has to happen, now. Peter calls santé24, SWICA’s online practice. For him, it's both a first step and a hurdle. But something happens on the phone that he hadn’t expected.
«I was immediately taken seriously. I was treated with great empathy. And I was encouraged.»
Straight talk rather than well-meaning words
After the initial contact with santé24, the SWICA care management team is brought on board to help address the challenges at work and give Peter additional support. His psychotherapy sessions continue to run via the santé24 team, who are also guiding him step by step out of the situation.
On the phone, he hears something that his friends and family have been trying to tell him for a long time. “The people around you are often too nice to you,” says Peter. "But the care managers told me in no uncertain terms that things had to change now before it was too late."
This straight talking marks a turning point for him. For the first time, he accepts that he can't go on like this. "I understood that I had to help myself. I couldn't wait for help from outside.”
Learning that you don't always have to give 100%
Peter is getting psychological support. It's over the phone rather than in person, which is just right for him. For several months now he's been talking regularly with a psychologist. They discuss issues that have been weighing on him for a long time – such as perfectionism. “I've realised that the last five per cent often takes far too much energy.”
He's learning to sometime leave things at 90 or 95%. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he realises that the price of perfection was too high. "I didn’t want to be sick. I wanted to find solutions. That was what drove me.”
Work is important, but it isn't everything
Now Peter lives more mindfully. He listens more to his body. He sets boundaries, both professionally and privately. That sounds easy. But it isn’t, not when you’ve been functioning differently for years. “Work is good, work is important. But it's only one part of life.”
He's more mindful of spending time with his partner. He goes out to restaurants and on trips again, actively seeks balance. And when he realises that things are getting too much, he’s doing something about it sooner. His partner also reacts more quickly these days. “When she notices that I'm slipping back into old patterns, she gives me a gentle warning.”
“The phone call helped me move forward”
What has particularly stayed with Peter is the realisation that accepting help is not a sign of weakness. And that sometimes a single phone call is enough to make a difference. "If I break my leg, I go to the doctor. You have to accept that there are points in life where you can’t move forward by yourself."
His advice to people in similar situations is clear: don't wait too long. “I always thought that I was doing everything right and everyone else was doing everything wrong,” he says. "I was shown the truth lies somewhere in the middle." And that's precisely what opened up new perspectives for him.
